Yep, I went there. This post has been in my brain for a while and it could not have been titled anything else. There will be an opportunity for you to log your official complaint; but before we go there, I am hoping you will hear me out.
Sometimes, it really is all about me.
Sometimes my options are: to let my destruco-toddler into your beautiful artisan shop and pay all the money in the world for broken handmade nicknacks… with a bird on it (nice touch); not go in at all and hear the 6 year-old argue all the way home (yes, for a full forty-five minutes… he has a gift) about the vast injustices he has suffered being unable to see if you sold magnetic rocks for his collection (which you don’t, I’m sure; he doesn’t believe me); or, stand here in your parking lot securing said destructo-toddler into a wrap, walk into your store for three minutes, placate my curious 6 year-old, still buy one of your birds, and wish you a lovely day.
Sanctamommy Says, “But if you were to watch your toddler more carefully, she could enjoy the tactile nature of the shop instead of just being worn in for a quick three minute trip.”
Yes, you are right. Babywearing is selfish like that.
Sometimes, you want to avoid shopping cart shenanigans.
Sometimes, your darling baby…
Creates “Tide island” in the living room.
Plays with water and paper… in the toilet,
Or (gasp) finds the hidden markers,
Sometimes, you want to minimize the chaos in your life. Truth: you (almost) always know what your baby is doing when they are in a carrier.
Sometimes, Babywearers just have to get things done.
Like go pick up the other little person your life…
Dear tiny person,
You are my light. You fill my days with joy and laughter and I am eternally grateful that you are MY tiny person. But for the love of all that is good in the world, HOW does it take us a full hour to get out the door of this house? Sometimes, I just can’t. You’ll have to go into a carrier and we’ll be out the door soon, my little love. The alternative is that I am late (again) to school pick up and the kind people at the front office of my son’s school will blankly nod and smile when I try to explain how it takes 38 minutes for you to just wear shoes!
Question: “How do you get so much done?”
Answer: “I’m a selfish babywearer, that’s how.”
Need to make a conference call?
Can’t find a moment to pee without wondering what your busy toddler is destroying?
Want to enjoy an actual hot meal?
Want to try avoid something like?
But please note that even selfish babywearing will not necessarily keep you safe from baby shenanigans. Exhibit A:
But the most basic truth about selfish babywearing is… sometimes, I just need a snuggle.
Mostly, I wear my baby because she needs my comfort, my warmth, to hear my voice, to be close to me. Yes, sometimes I wear her because it is convenient for me. But, occasionally, I’m the one that needs a snuggle. I just need to have her head rest perfectly against the back of my neck, to let me smell her sweet baby-ness, and feel the weight of her body become droopy and heavy against my back with sleep.
Sometimes, I ache for her little hand reaching to hold mine.
Sometimes, I need her more than she needs me.
So what kind of fish is a babywearer? The Selfish? Occasionally. But, that’s ok. Get those snuggles, save that sanity, get something done, and enjoy every. tiny. selfish. moment.
To log your official complaint or admit that you are indeed a selfish babywearer (no judgement here), comment below.
I can totally relate!!!! If it were not for baby wearing NOTHING would get done around my house!!! I currently have one wrap and only know one way to wear my son, up front. Ooooooh…but watch out when I learn other ways!!!! I plan on being selfish for as long as my son fits comfortably in a wrap.
Hello, my name is Kim and I’m a selfish babywearer!! Great article
Hello, Kim. This is a safe place. You are not alone.
You forgot about avoiding walking a toddler speed… Sometimes I like my stride to be more than 4 inches.
Buahahaha! That’s so selfish (and simultaneously fabulous)! Thanks for sharing.
Truth. You speak the truth. Guilty as charged here. On a side note, does the selfish double or cancel out if one’s spouse gets to babywear? They get the cuddles, but you get total freedom of movement. Conundrum, no??
The DOUBLE selfish?? Mind. Blown.
Awesome article. I am a selfish babywearer because getting things done that need to be done AND spending time with my little ones are both things I need in my day to feel like I’ve accomplished anything. You’ve inspired me to take pictures of the madness around my house aka life to share with my kids when they get older. (I think it will help me to not get as discouraged also).Thanks for the laughs.
Mama of 8
Always take pictures!! My mother has some ridiculous stories and I’m always like, “you can’t prove that.”
Sometimes I selfishly baby wear so I can get groceries while baby naps. Or so I can stand through an entire church service and hear everything. Or so we can walk the zoo and my older kids can experience life in spite of baby’s nap time.
How dare you want to get anything done or maintain a spiritual relationship? Selfish. 😉
I am a selfish babywearer! Especially at my nanny job. Babywearing has made it convenient for my son and I to get the job done!
Wait? You want to be able to take care of more than one child at a time? Selfish.
If it wasn’t for baby wearing my toddler would try to make friends with cars speeding through the parking lots. Selfish of me not to let him.
So Selfish!! He’s just trying to be sociable.
I am a selfish babywearing mom who just cried as I read this because my baby is napping in her bed and now I wanna snuggle xoxo
I suffer from this type of selfish as well. #thestrugleisreal
I love this!!!
Love this. I have just started baby wearing with my new baby and it is really addictive. I can deal with my 4 year old at the same time too.
I love the dear tiny person letter. It made me laugh. Its ok to be selfish. 😉
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